Mother Goose, Ph.D. is a collection of the best-known Mother Goose rhymes, translated into precise scientific and technical language, with just a touch of badinage (that's "humor" for all you uncultured folks) thrown in.

Now, at last, here is a translation of nursery rhymes that even the most intellectual can understand.

• A Percoid Fish for Half a Crown
• An Interjection
• Petros, Petros, Consumer of Gourd-like Fruit
• The Aged and Decrepit Woman
• A Certain Male Person and his Comrade
• A Trio of Ableptic Rodents
• Charge for Services Rendered
• The Mustela Attacked! (With the Sound of Reducing Air Pressure)
• Scintillate, Scintillate, Globule Vivific
• Electromagnetic Radiation from the Sphere of Fusing Hydrogen
• A Juvenile With Remarkable Agility
• A Certain Male Septegenarian
• A Miniscule Female
• The Female Juvenile Who Must Needs Contradict
• Tha Aged Male Nobility
• Vocalize a Musical Selection
• Pressure and Friction Applied to the Act of Conferring Knighthood
• One Who Pickles Cucumbers
• A Small Ball of Dough Cooked With Stew
• A Certain White Ovoid
• This Diminutive Shoat
• The Indicated Exhibit
• A Deciduous Tree (Genus: Carya)
• An Impaled, Globular, Smooth-skinned Drupe
• Enunciate the List of Ingredients
• There Existed a Fellow
• The Puerile Person Who Vocalizes Musical Selections
• Force an Exhalation Through A Brass Wind Instrument
• The Woman and Her Multiplicative Proclivities
• The Half-Wit
• A Female Bird With Reticulate Tarsi
• A Boy (A Bit of a Turkey...)
• She Perched Atop Her Hassock
• Felis Catus, Felis Catus
• The Joyful, Prepubescent Female and Her Pet
• The Wee Arachnid
• The Filiform Appendages of African Catfish
• Unity, A Pair
• Auf Wiedersehen, Infant-In-Arms
• A Fellow of Indeterminate Age
• Pitchforks and Hammerhandles!
• A Flummery
• The Cold-Blooded, Strictly Aquatic Vertabrate
• Tap Lightly a Sweetened Bread
• The Small, European Herring
• Delivering Quick, Smart Blows...
• Sit Astride an Adult's Knee
• Circumscribe the Swollen Lymph Nodes
• The Oral Imitation of a Sound
• A Fellow Characterized by his Non-Linearity
• Erect, Climbing, or Creeping Prickly Shrubs
• I Initiate the Conversation
• While Stranded at the Top of a Woody Perennial
• Assorted "Wise Sayings"